'The thing about Suzy,' Jerry said over his shoulder, 'is that she's so incredibly good at wanking.' I blinked and leaned forward in my chair. 'Come again?' 'Well, exactly. She just won't take “No more” for an answer. And she makes you want it again anyway. Definitely.'
'Let me get this straight,' I said, 'this friend of yours, this Suzy, this, “good person for me to meet under the circumstances”, she's a … what … a whore?' 'Not at all,' he brought over my drink, smiling benignly at my puzzlement, 'she does it for love, not money. In a sense she's an amateur but that's the wrong word; makes her sound inexperienced. In point of fact she's an expert. A divine expert. She's looking forward to meeting you.'
Fortunately I hadn’t yet started my drink, I would have choked. ‘Just what have you told her about me? What have you arranged?’ He seated himself on the sofa and sipped his own drink. ‘Don’t worry mate, nothing indiscreet, nothing incriminating. Only your first name, and that you’re a friend of mine, you’ve been jilted, you’re pissed off. And haven’t we all. And I haven’t really “arranged” anything at all; just suggested that you two might like to get to know each other, no more than that.’
'If you think that I'm going to forget all about Ella just because of a quick shag —-' 'No, no, I've told you; she doesn't fuck, she wanks. A Masturbatrix. She positively isn’t interested in bonking. Believe me; I've tried to get in there. She's lovely. But she only likes to - no, “likes” is the wrong word too; she's totally obsessed with dicks, with playing with them, teasing them, making them stiff as hell and relentlessly and mercilessly wanking them. She has to be experienced to be believed. You won't regret it.'
I put my drink down. My knee-jerk protests died away as Jerry’s description began to get to me,somewhere in the groin area. Suddenly the prospect of meeting this Suzy became more interesting. ‘But what does she get out of it?’ I persisted. ‘Yes, I’ve wondered that too. It seems to be like a compulsion; she’s driven to go on and on until you’ve really, really, had enough. And I mean really. Then she just goes home. Yes, it’s weird. She once told me, when pressed, that she re-lives it all in fantasy when she’s by herself. Gets off on it, I suppose. Prefers it that way. Only likes to come in private, by herself - bugger it.’
I opened my mouth but I can’t now remember what I was going to say because at that moment the bell rang. ‘And here is the lovely lady; excuse me a moment.’ As I listened to Jerry’s footsteps going down the stairs I felt my heart begin to pound. Was this what I really wanted? I seemed to be well and truly trapped. Was there any way of escape now? I had brief fantasies of climbing out of the bathroom window. Was Jerry expecting us to perform in front of him? I wouldn’t stand for that (no pun intended).
Too late; I could hear them coming back up, conversation too muffled to make out. Jerry said something about hanging her coat up. I stood up as she came into the room alone. ‘Hello, I’m Suzy. You must be Mark.’ She was short, with her blond hair in curiously dated looking bunches on either side of her head. Looked in her late twenties. Quite pretty in an elfish sort of way with a pointed face, strong smile creases making a V shape towards her chin.
'Hello. Yes, I'm Mark. Very nice to meet you.' My response sounded absurdly, inappropriately formal, given what Jerry had just told me. She held out her hand. I almost flinched, imagining she was going straight for my cock but fortunately realized that she was probably just responding to my formality. I took her hand just as Jerry came in. 'Sorry, I didn't introduce you two but it seems like you've done that already. What will you have to drink, Suzy?'
We held hands for what seemed just a moment longer than is usual, then she turned and followed Jerry over to his drinks cabinet and I took the opportunity to admire her petite figure and especially her behind as she leaned over to see what was on offer. I could easily imagine anyone finding her really attractive, not just the looks but there was a warmth and directness in her that immediately spoke to me. But how much was it because of what Jerry had just said about her? I wondered.
Jerry had given me no sense of an agenda beyond coming round for, “a few drinks”. He had made it clear that it was not a dinner party, but not an ordinary drinks party either; apparently no-one else was expected. It could have felt awkward and uncomfortable, with stilted silences, but when we sat down I was relieved to find that we started talking easily right away. Jerry is good at that kind of thing. He and I go back a long way, so we’ve usually got loads to say to each other. And he and Suzy seemed to have shared quite a history too, so we fell into talking together as if it were the most natural thing. I can’t now remember in detail what we talked about but I remember feeling stimulated - intellectually that is, not just in the gonads. There were times when I almost forgot why we had been brought together in the first place.